I am continually wrestling with the fact that grace exists. I don't understand it. It seems so impossible. How come I can decide as a small child to follow Jesus, but as an adult, struggle so hard to believe that Jesus' death on a cross really paid for my sins. How could he possibly continue to love a perpetual sinner. I do not understand it!
When I got home from work today, I took Silas to the dog park. I just love it there because Silas can run all he wants, swim and get muddy, and I don't really care. It's so funny to see him just desire to be dirty. His favorite thing is to jump in the mud and roll around in it and swim through the stream that flows through it! I just enjoy seeing him free within the bounds that are set for him. In the realm of the dog park, he has everything he needs. Fun, freedom, mud, water, other dogs, people, toys, space, etc...There is so much to enjoy.
I also enjoyed seeing spring today. As I was home for Easter this past weekend, spring was already in full bloom, however in PA, spring is just starting to arrive. Although I love winter, I am always hopeful and expectant of spring to arrive and I never doubt that it will come soon (even if the calendar says April or May). I know that it will be there.
I think that God uses spring to remind us of himself. It is such a beautiful picture of redemption. Just think about it, the plants have to shed their leaves, die, and be pruned in order to be ready to bear fruit, flowers and leaves in the spring. They must "die" to themselves in order to live again.
Although spring comes and goes every year, and I never doubt that it's coming, I do doubt that God does the same thing in my life. So often when he is pruning me and bringing things to my mind that I need to die to and give up, I doubt that there is life on the other side. It seems so wretched to cut off and take away things that seem almost part of my being. I'm praying right now that every moment that I am enjoying spring, I would gain a greater glimpse of our Savior. In the same way that God makes things new in the spring, he makes things new in our life. In order for spring to come, winter has to precede it. It doesn't look like spring all year round.
I don't often doubt that spring will come, but I do doubt that God will makes things new in my own life. God's word is full of truths that are continually reminding us that through faith in Him, we are made new. It is not by obeying the law or becoming perfect, but resting in the fact that he has justified us and credited our life with his. We are hopelessly slaves to the law, unless we have believed in one who has gone before us to live the life we could never do on our own.
Although I am far worse than I ever dreamed possible, I am more deeply loved than I ever hoped or dreamed.
Spring reminds me of the Gospel.
I love these daffodils! One day they aren't there, and the next day they are! Such a surprise and delight of the spring! Absolutely Beautiful!
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